OH BEAUTIFUL GODDESS IN THE GRAIN!!!

OH BEAUTIFUL GODDESS IN THE GRAIN!!!

1. Last kiss

BLUE-HAIRED SUCCUBUS COME BY FOR DRINKS ON WAY HOME FROM DEMONIC OFFICE. KISS GOOD NIGHT. NO BIG DEAL.

2. Last phone call

DWARVEN PIZZA FORGE

3. Last text message

BLUE-HAIRED SUCCUBUS GOT HOME TO DEMONIC APARTMENT SAFELY. NO BIG DEAL.

4. Last song you listened to

http://youtu.be/q1PlSf0sbio
BLUE-HAIRED SUCCUBUS BRING OVER. IT JUST OKAY.

5. Last time you cried

SCRONDAR NEVER CRY. ONLY WHEN SO CAPTIVATED BY MAJESTY OF BARBARIAN WOLF MOON IN NIGHT SKY AND FOR ALSO BY THE GREAT HEAVING OF WOMANLY BREAST

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. Dated someone twice

SCRONDAR HAVE MANY WOMAN IN HAREM

7. Been cheated on

SCRONDAR NO CARE

8. Kissed someone and regretted it

LONG STORY! LET JUST SAY SON-OF-BITCH BARD INVOLVED.

9. Lost someone special

SCRONDAR LOSE MIGHTY WARRIOR BEAR PET IN DIVORCE

10. Been depressed

SCRONDAR HAUNTED BY DARK THOUGHTS AT ALL TIMES BUT NOT WHEN MAKING BATTLE OR MAKING FOR THE SACRED LUST PASSIONS WITH MANY A WELL-BREASTED WOMAN

11. Been drunk and threw up

SCRONDAR FIRST BIRTHDAY

THIS YEAR HAVE YOU:
12. had sex

SCRONDAR MAKE GREAT LUSTINGS AT ALL TIMES!

13. How many people have you had sex with this year?

LIKE STARS IN SKY

15. Made a new friend

SCRONDAR MEET NEW NEIGHBOR GARY. HE SEEM OKAY

17. Laughed until you cried

SCRONDAR MAKE MIRTHS UNTIL CONFLICTED FEELINGS RISE UP IN HACKLES

18. Met someone who changed you

NOT SINCE SCRONDAR BABY!

19. Found out who your true friends were

SWIFT FALCON, CUNNING WOLF, AND SECRET WAR TURTLE

20. Found out someone was talking about you

SON OF BITCH BARD!

26. What did you do for your last Birthday

ENTIRE MONTH OF FEASTING, MAKING FOR LUSTINGS, AND WORE NO TROUSERS!!!

27. What time did you wake up today

WHEN SUNLIGHT WARM SCRONDAR MIGHTY MUSCLED BUTTOCKS

29. Name something you CANNOT wait for

FOR TUMBLING TEST TO BE OVER! HA HA!

30. Last time you saw your all of your siblings at the same time

FEAST OF WARRIOR KING JEPPSON IN THE YEAR OF THE BLACK WORM

31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life

SCRONDAR NEED BATTLE MORE DRAGON

32. What are you listening to right now

SECRET NIGHT TIME SCRONDAL MEDITATION MIX TAPE

33. When is the last time you had sex?

NOW

34. Who’s getting on your nerves right now

BASTARD DWARVEN FORGE PIZZA DELIVERY DWARF. BASTARD NOT LEAVE MEAD HALL UNTIL SCRONDAR HURL ENORMOUS STONES AT HEAD!

35. Most visited webpage

WENCHBOOK

36. Favorite colour

BLACK! LIKE SCRONDAR HAIR ON HEAD AND MIGHTY PUBIS.

37. Nicknames

SCRONDAR THE DEATH-BRINGER, SCRONDAR BRINGER OF DARKNESS, SCRONDAR THE LUST-DEMON, SCRONDAR THE SLAYER OF SON OF BITCH BARDS, SCRONDAR THE BASTARDLY BASTARD OF BATTLE, SCRONDAR THE THREE HANDED, SCRONDAR THE HUNG LIKE MIGHTY OAK TREE

38. Relationship Status

SCRONDAR POLYAMORUS WITH HAREM

39. Zodiac sign

MIGHTY BLACK EAGLE WITH BLOOD DRIPPING FROM BEAK AND HOLDING SKULL IN FIERCE TALONS

40. Male or female

SCRONDAR GENERALLY PREFER FEMALE BUT…YOU NEVER KNOW…

41. Primary school

WARRIOR SCHOOL

42. Secondary School

BARBARIAN SCHOOL

43. High school/college

LORD GOD KING WARLORD MASTER OF SWORD SCHOOL

44. Eye color

BLUE. LIKE MIGHTY WATERS WHERE SCRONDAR PISS IN MORNING.

46. Height

SCRONDAR TALL, LIKE GREAT STANDING-STONES OF URBOZ

47. Do you have a crush on someone

SCRONDAR CRUSH MANY WITH MIGHTY HAMMERS OF WAR

48. What do you like about yourself

SCRONDAR BRAVE AND ENORMOUS IN TROUSERS

49. Piercings

SCRONDAR ONCE ALLOW WITCH TO PIERCE MAN-NIPPLES AND MAKE MIGHTY SPELLS BUT CLOSED UP AFTER SCRONDAR TOOK JOB AT AIRPORT

50. Tattoos

MIGHTY PANTHER AND BUSTY WARRIOR WOMAN AND SNAKE WITH GARGOYLE HOLDING FLAMING SWORD AND KING OF DEAD BEING TRAMPLED BY THOUSAND WARRIORS AND NAKED WOMEN AND PLAYING CARDS WITH BOTTLES OF WHISKEYS

51. Righty or lefty

SCRONDAR COMMUNIST

FIRSTS:
53. First piercing

SCRONDAR PIERCE FORESKIN WITH MIGHTY EAGLE TALON AT THIRD SUMMER IN WARRIOR RITUAL

54. First best friend

MIGHTY BEAR!!!

55. First hookup

SCRONDAR HOOK UP WITH CROSS-EYED WARRIOR DAUGHTER AT TRIBAL FEAST OF KING SCRUNDUS AND FEEL BREAST UNDER STAIRS IN FAMILY MEAD HALL

56. First Bestfriend

MIGHTY BEAR!!!

RIGHT NOW:

59. Eating

DWARVEN FORGE PIZZA OF MANY CHEESES

60. Drinking

SCRONDAR DRINK MANY DRAUGHTS OF STRONG ALE

61. I’m about to

SLEEP AND DREAM OF WARRIOR WOMEN IN GOLDEN HALLS OF BREAST

62. Listening to

SCRONDAR SECRET MEDITATION MIX

63. Waiting for

QUIZZINGS TO BE FINISHED!

YOUR FUTURE:

64. Want kids?

MANY BABY GOAT RUN FREE THROUGH MEAD HALL

65. Get married?

SCRONDAR HAVE TWENTY THREE WIFE!

66. Career

EMPEROR SCRONDAR!

WHICH IS BETTER:
67. Lips or eyes

FOR EATING OR MAKING SIGHT? SCRONDAR NOT UNDERSTAND

68. Hugs or kisses

SCRONDAR LIKE BOTH!

69. Shorter or taller

SHORTER

70. Older or Younger

SCRONDAR MAKE NO PREFERENCES

71. Romantic or spontaneous

SCRONDAR LIKE EXCITING SURPRISE LUSTINGS LIKE AMBUSH IN DARK FOREST OF MANY TROLL

72. Nice stomach or nice arms

SCRONDAR STOMACH FULL OF PIZZAS AND MANY DRAUGHTS OF STRONG ALE AND ARMS ARE POWERFUL AND WELL MUSCLED AND CAN PULL TALLEST TREE FROM GROUND

73. Sensitive or loud

SCRONDAR LOUD! SCRONDAR FIERCE! SCRONDAR MAKE TIME FOR QUIET SENSITIVITIES TOO.

74. Hook-up or relationship

SCRONDAR ONCE GOT HOOK STUCK IN EYELID BY BASTARD SAILOR! SCRONDAR DROWN ALL HIS RELATIONS AND SUNK HIS SHIP!

HAVE YOU EVER:

76. Kissed a stranger

YES

77. Drank hard liquor

ANCIENT DISTILLED WHISKEYS OF ANCESTRAL WARRIOR KINGS!

78. Lost glasses/contacts

SCRONDAR JUST FOR READING!

79. Had sex

LIKE BREATH IN LUNGS

80. Broken someone’s heart

SCRONDAR ONCE PULL HEART FROM EVIL KING CHEST AND SHOW IT TO HIM.

82. Been arrested

SCRONDAR IS EXEMPT FROM ALL LAWS OF MAN

83. Turned someone down

BLUE-HAIRED SUCCUBUS WANTED TO GIVE ME MASSAGINGS BUT SCRONDAR SAY NO

84. Cried when someone died

SCRONDAR PET GOAT - PERCIVAL

85. Fallen for a friend

SCRONDAR NO ONE FOOL

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself

THERE IS ONLY SCRONDAR AND ANCIENT ANCESTRAL WARRIOR KINGS AND QUEENS OF OLD

87. Miracles

PIZZA GOT HERE ON TIME! MIRACLE!

88. Love at first sight

NO

89. Heaven

THERE IS ONLY THE MEADHALLS OF MY FATHERS WHERE SCRONDAR MAY REST HIS FACE IN THE BOSOMS OF A MILLION WELL-BOSOMED WARRIOR WOMEN

90. Santa Clause

YES

91. Kiss on the first date

IF FEEL RIGHT

92. Angels

YES. SCRONDAR HAD JUST KILLED GIANT LOBSTER DEMON. SCRONDAR LAYING NAKED ON BEACH. SCRONDAR ALMOST DIE. TWO ANGELS CAME TO REVIVE SCRONDAR AND TAKE HIM TO AFTER-WORLD OF MEADHALLS. INSTEAD MAKING TWO ON ONE SEXINGS OF WILD LUSTS WITH SCRONDAR. NOT REAL ANGELS, JUST PEGGY AND DANIELLE

93. How would you label yourself?

SCRONDAR

94. Someone You Pray Everyday For

SON OF BITCH BARD TO FALL IN HOLE FILLED WITH SHITS

95. Did you sing today

SCRONDAR SINGS BARBARIAN WAR SONGS AT SUNSET

96. Who From All Your Ex’s have You Cared The Most About

DAGNA WITH THE ENORMITY OF BEHIND AND LONG HAIR IN THE DREADEDLOCKS. DAGNA SPECIAL LADY FRIEND!

97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go?

TO TIME OF FIRST ANCESTRAL WAR-FATHER AND BECOME IMMORTAL WARRIOR KING AND WEAR NO TROUSERS FOREVER

98. Out Of Everything In The World What Do You Wish For

SECRET

99. Are you afraid of falling in love?

SCRONDAR HAVE MANY LOVES! BATTLE! SEXINGS! CALL OF WILD WOLFS! MEAD! ALE! BREAST! FINE SWORD!

100. Do you like the way you look?

SCRONDAR LIKE BLACK-HAIRED GOD OF WARRIORS WITH PENIS LIKE TRUNK OF TREE.

SCRONDAR SEND…PSYONICIC TELEMOSHAMANIC MESSAGES TO YOU DRUIDESS OF BIRD! DO YOU COPY?!

SCRONDAR SEND…PSYONICIC TELEMOSHAMANIC MESSAGES TO YOU DRUIDESS OF BIRD! DO YOU COPY?!

(via nudityandnerdery)

SCRONDAR STILL ROCK OLD SCHOOL ULVER T-SHIRT SOMEDAYS

SCRONDAR STILL ROCK OLD SCHOOL ULVER T-SHIRT SOMEDAYS

(via folkenmalmur)

folkenmalmur:


It’s just one of those nights…

SCRONDAR CLIMB TO TOP OF HIGH PEAKS OF DARK SORCERIES UPON MOONLESS NIGHT!
SCRONDAR SUMMON ALL STRENGTHS AND WILLS
SCRONDAR COME TO HIGHEST PEAK OF SORCERY TO ASK YOU TO ELF KING’S DANCE PARTY. SCRONDAR NOT ALLOWED IN ELF-HALL WITHOUT DATE!
BASTARD ELF KING.

folkenmalmur:

It’s just one of those nights…

SCRONDAR CLIMB TO TOP OF HIGH PEAKS OF DARK SORCERIES UPON MOONLESS NIGHT!

SCRONDAR SUMMON ALL STRENGTHS AND WILLS

SCRONDAR COME TO HIGHEST PEAK OF SORCERY TO ASK YOU TO ELF KING’S DANCE PARTY. SCRONDAR NOT ALLOWED IN ELF-HALL WITHOUT DATE!

BASTARD ELF KING.

folkenmalmur:

It’s one of those days… I mean, nights. Hah.

SCRONDAR CAPTIVATED BY EYE OF DARK SORCERESS! FEEL ENCHANTMENTS TAKING OVER SCRONDAL LOINS AND FIERY MUSCULATURATIONS MAKE FOR SWEAT UPON BROW!
HA! SCRONDAR JUST PEEKING AT CLEAVAGES! 

folkenmalmur:

It’s one of those days… I mean, nights. Hah.

SCRONDAR CAPTIVATED BY EYE OF DARK SORCERESS! FEEL ENCHANTMENTS TAKING OVER SCRONDAL LOINS AND FIERY MUSCULATURATIONS MAKE FOR SWEAT UPON BROW!

HA! SCRONDAR JUST PEEKING AT CLEAVAGES! 

GET BACK!
YOG SOTHOTH IS RISING FROM CLOVERS IN GARDEN!!!

GET BACK!

YOG SOTHOTH IS RISING FROM CLOVERS IN GARDEN!!!

(via medievalwitch)

groteleur:

Xena and CallistoHot, nerdy girls like to dress up in costumes for geeky events, like Comic-Con. This strange habit of dressing up as fictional characters was started by the Japanese and quickly spread to the United States. Who knows why they are willing to dress up in these skimpy outfits, but don’t question it and enjoy these sexy cosplay girls! 
SCRONDAR REMOVE INANE TEXT. SCRIBE MUST BE BLIND IN PENIS AND HAVE HEAD FULL OF THE SHITS OF A THOUSAND RABID DWARF LIZARDS! FOR WHO NOT WHO WAS WENDY PINI WHO DRESS AS RED SONJA IN 1970S FOR CONS OF COMICS

SCRONDAR FEEL THE LOVE. AFTER BATTLE SCRONDAR MAKE THE LAYING ON OF WARRIOR HANDS TO QUIVERING WELL MUSCLED FLESH!

groteleur:

Xena and Callisto

Hot, nerdy girls like to dress up in costumes for geeky events, like Comic-Con. This strange habit of dressing up as fictional characters was started by the Japanese and quickly spread to the United States. Who knows why they are willing to dress up in these skimpy outfits, but don’t question it and enjoy these sexy cosplay girls!

SCRONDAR REMOVE INANE TEXT. SCRIBE MUST BE BLIND IN PENIS AND HAVE HEAD FULL OF THE SHITS OF A THOUSAND RABID DWARF LIZARDS! FOR WHO NOT WHO WAS WENDY PINI WHO DRESS AS RED SONJA IN 1970S FOR CONS OF COMICS

SCRONDAR FEEL THE LOVE. AFTER BATTLE SCRONDAR MAKE THE LAYING ON OF WARRIOR HANDS TO QUIVERING WELL MUSCLED FLESH!

(via warrior-women-sexy)

demonsee:

Anastasya Zelenova as Kitana

LIKE BEAUTIFUL BIRD MAIDEN OF DEATH!!!

demonsee:

Anastasya Zelenova as Kitana

LIKE BEAUTIFUL BIRD MAIDEN OF DEATH!!!

(via warrior-women-sexy)

getsuswet:

savingthrowvssexy:

Fatal Beauty, inspired by Royo by gestiefeltekatze

xBloodLust

SCRONDAR NOT COMPLAIN

BUT MIGHT FOR WANT TO WEAR MAILED SHIRTS FOR BATTLEFIELD GLORY!

SCRONDAR NOT WANT BEAUTIFIC ENCHANTED BOSOM TO BE HARMED BY GOBLIN RAIDERS!

(via swordwomen)